what do you want, a cookie?*
i spent the weekend back home in denver for jesskah's wedding. it was a short, structured trip, and i was slightly glad for that. her reception was at a double tree hotel (photos forthcoming), and when i checked in, the lady behind the counter asked if i wanted a warm chocolate chip cookie.
i think my response was yes, among other things.
i flew on midwest airlines to get back to philadelphia. they're actively promoting that they were voted best airline by some so and so's, and halfway through the flight, the attendant brought her cart by and asked if i wanted a warm chocolate chip cookie.
who is running the focus groups behind this trend? is that all it takes to attract return business? because i'd like to start my own airline and/or hospitality group that hands out free cocktails on board or at check-in, respectively; the arguments that will advance the success of my start-ups are two-fold:
1. people with do anything if there's free booze involved, and
2. people with kids will probably be discouraged from patronizing these establishments.
i love kids. really. but not as much as i love cocktails.
you might be thinking, "anne, do you think you have a problem with alcohol?" to which my response is, "no - alcohol and i get along splendidly. why, did alcohol say something?"
also, i'd like to point out that the benefits of my shwag versus the cookie phenomenon are wholistic in nature: cookies are not good for your diet, and cocktails make you appreciate life, as well as probably help you make new friends when you're stuck on an airplane that was 1.5 hours late taking off for a storm that didn't exist and has a couple of new parents sitting right next to you with a baby that clearly does not enjoy flying on airplanes and a guy sitting next to you wearing some kind of shoe that prompts you to ask "so are those, like, merrell's answer to crocs?" and he says "no, crocs are republican shoes. george bush wears crocs" and then snores as he hogs the armrest when you're just trying to read and get home before septa closes.
*i hate it when people say that.
i think my response was yes, among other things.
i flew on midwest airlines to get back to philadelphia. they're actively promoting that they were voted best airline by some so and so's, and halfway through the flight, the attendant brought her cart by and asked if i wanted a warm chocolate chip cookie.
who is running the focus groups behind this trend? is that all it takes to attract return business? because i'd like to start my own airline and/or hospitality group that hands out free cocktails on board or at check-in, respectively; the arguments that will advance the success of my start-ups are two-fold:
1. people with do anything if there's free booze involved, and
2. people with kids will probably be discouraged from patronizing these establishments.
i love kids. really. but not as much as i love cocktails.
you might be thinking, "anne, do you think you have a problem with alcohol?" to which my response is, "no - alcohol and i get along splendidly. why, did alcohol say something?"
also, i'd like to point out that the benefits of my shwag versus the cookie phenomenon are wholistic in nature: cookies are not good for your diet, and cocktails make you appreciate life, as well as probably help you make new friends when you're stuck on an airplane that was 1.5 hours late taking off for a storm that didn't exist and has a couple of new parents sitting right next to you with a baby that clearly does not enjoy flying on airplanes and a guy sitting next to you wearing some kind of shoe that prompts you to ask "so are those, like, merrell's answer to crocs?" and he says "no, crocs are republican shoes. george bush wears crocs" and then snores as he hogs the armrest when you're just trying to read and get home before septa closes.
*i hate it when people say that.
posted by gijyun |
7.30.2007
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7:49 AM
the endless search for faith
jezabel245: bob.
herpen96: anne.
jezabel245: i'm thinking about becoming a universalist.
jezabel245: your thoughts on that?
herpen96: wherever you're going, can i tag along? because catholicism doesn't cut it for me anymore and i'm declaring myself a religious and philosophical free agent.
jezabel245: sure. i don't think the universalists are very discriminating. but i think there's some reading involved.
herpen96: i gots no beef wit readin'
jezabel245: what about alms? do you have beef with alms?
herpen96: depends on whom the alms are for
jezabel245: well, they'd be for the unitarian universalists
jezabel245: by way of me.
herpen96: waaiiiit a minute
jezabel245: i'm sure there's some sort of dogma involved in the exchange, also.
herpen96: this sounds like nothing more than a religious version of "the human fund"
jezabel245: well, we're all human bob.
jezabel245: i don't think the universalists really have any rules, so your donation is important at this critical time of need.
herpen96: um, is this the sort of thing where if i don't give, then an as-yet-unnamed "coincidental" "accident" will befall me?
jezabel245: i dunno if universalists believe in karma.
jezabel245: but i sure do.
jezabel245: ...if you get my drift.
herpen96: you know, all this could have been avoided if you just said these simple words:
herpen96: "bob, give me money. now."
jezabel245: bob, give me money. now.
herpen96: yes ma'am.
jezabel245: on behalf of the entire universe, we'd like to thank you for your support.(talk about a return on investment. that's a lot of thanking.)
herpen96: for my return, i'd rather have the universe dedicate a sidwalk or a houseplant in my honor. thanks only get you so far, but a solid brass plaque with your name on it is forever.
jezabel245: we don't have a budget for any of those, but i do have a jade plant at home that needs some watering.
jezabel245: thanks for reminding me.
herpen96: anne.
jezabel245: i'm thinking about becoming a universalist.
jezabel245: your thoughts on that?
herpen96: wherever you're going, can i tag along? because catholicism doesn't cut it for me anymore and i'm declaring myself a religious and philosophical free agent.
jezabel245: sure. i don't think the universalists are very discriminating. but i think there's some reading involved.
herpen96: i gots no beef wit readin'
jezabel245: what about alms? do you have beef with alms?
herpen96: depends on whom the alms are for
jezabel245: well, they'd be for the unitarian universalists
jezabel245: by way of me.
herpen96: waaiiiit a minute
jezabel245: i'm sure there's some sort of dogma involved in the exchange, also.
herpen96: this sounds like nothing more than a religious version of "the human fund"
jezabel245: well, we're all human bob.
jezabel245: i don't think the universalists really have any rules, so your donation is important at this critical time of need.
herpen96: um, is this the sort of thing where if i don't give, then an as-yet-unnamed "coincidental" "accident" will befall me?
jezabel245: i dunno if universalists believe in karma.
jezabel245: but i sure do.
jezabel245: ...if you get my drift.
herpen96: you know, all this could have been avoided if you just said these simple words:
herpen96: "bob, give me money. now."
jezabel245: bob, give me money. now.
herpen96: yes ma'am.
jezabel245: on behalf of the entire universe, we'd like to thank you for your support.(talk about a return on investment. that's a lot of thanking.)
herpen96: for my return, i'd rather have the universe dedicate a sidwalk or a houseplant in my honor. thanks only get you so far, but a solid brass plaque with your name on it is forever.
jezabel245: we don't have a budget for any of those, but i do have a jade plant at home that needs some watering.
jezabel245: thanks for reminding me.
posted by gijyun |
7.25.2007
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12:44 PM
exclamation points and a slight hangover
i won't claim to be even slightly original when i say that exclamation points are deal-breakers.
monday morning entertainment gut bomb
happy monday! this is me testing boundaries from my new office. i am jack's occasional deviance.
here's a short list of things that have been keeping me more than entertained in the last few months, since i have a feeling i'll be less than entertaining here.
entourage
i read (to slight dismay) that grambo pooped on not only the season, but the series, and was internally conflicted between hormones and a headache. i like this show. i like it in a hey-do-you-wanna-come-over-after-school-and-play-king's-quest kind of way, because it's a sorry story (east coast dreams of making west coast money) with typical characters (i think i went to homecoming with johnny drama my junior year) with a frenetic, typecast jeremy piven (what's so funny about peace peace peace love and understanding) and a gay sidekick.
what's not to love? and what happened to turtle's girly with the mechanic for a dad?
flight of the conchords
aside from being highly amused by the dance that jeramiah does at the breakfast table in the opening credits of this show, i'd like to congratulate the writers for sucessfully doubling the running time of entertaining programming on sunday night hbo. this series convinced me to invest in a dvr.
world series of pop culture
in the interest of full disclosure, i had pretty much given up on vh1 with the whole charm school thing, but this nationally-aired manifestation validates the mature catalog of details (like the name of the boat in Jaws) that's been previously untapped. i can't find any of the series questions, but...um, they're fun.
i do more than watch tv sometimes
it's true. here's some links that i love.
minor tweaks - tom bartlett gives himself the extra challenge of being distinctively clever with a pg rating. hard to find anymore; easy to love.
corporate-casual - worker #3116 isn't really concerned about a pg rating. or working.
swisher's untitled blog project - laura swisher (san francisco) is a real comedian (really). she doesn't update very often but she's entertaining.
etsy - etsy is your place to buy and sell all things handmade. i've purchased a few things from here; the sellers are honest and friendly, the items are pretty and unique, and can be as affordable as you want it to be. also good for browsing when you're supposed to be working.
rollertrain - still rolling.
pictures i like for a variety of reasons - you might've seen some of these pictures before. but not with the funny captions.
decisive indifference - mac is back.
SHIT. boss is coming. gotta go.
here's a short list of things that have been keeping me more than entertained in the last few months, since i have a feeling i'll be less than entertaining here.
entouragei read (to slight dismay) that grambo pooped on not only the season, but the series, and was internally conflicted between hormones and a headache. i like this show. i like it in a hey-do-you-wanna-come-over-after-school-and-play-king's-quest kind of way, because it's a sorry story (east coast dreams of making west coast money) with typical characters (i think i went to homecoming with johnny drama my junior year) with a frenetic, typecast jeremy piven (what's so funny about peace peace peace love and understanding) and a gay sidekick.
what's not to love? and what happened to turtle's girly with the mechanic for a dad?
flight of the conchordsaside from being highly amused by the dance that jeramiah does at the breakfast table in the opening credits of this show, i'd like to congratulate the writers for sucessfully doubling the running time of entertaining programming on sunday night hbo. this series convinced me to invest in a dvr.
world series of pop culturein the interest of full disclosure, i had pretty much given up on vh1 with the whole charm school thing, but this nationally-aired manifestation validates the mature catalog of details (like the name of the boat in Jaws) that's been previously untapped. i can't find any of the series questions, but...um, they're fun.
i do more than watch tv sometimes
it's true. here's some links that i love.
minor tweaks - tom bartlett gives himself the extra challenge of being distinctively clever with a pg rating. hard to find anymore; easy to love.
corporate-casual - worker #3116 isn't really concerned about a pg rating. or working.
swisher's untitled blog project - laura swisher (san francisco) is a real comedian (really). she doesn't update very often but she's entertaining.
etsy - etsy is your place to buy and sell all things handmade. i've purchased a few things from here; the sellers are honest and friendly, the items are pretty and unique, and can be as affordable as you want it to be. also good for browsing when you're supposed to be working.
rollertrain - still rolling.
pictures i like for a variety of reasons - you might've seen some of these pictures before. but not with the funny captions.
decisive indifference - mac is back.
SHIT. boss is coming. gotta go.
posted by gijyun |
7.23.2007
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6:51 AM
tps reports and stupid hair
i've never worked in a place that you need a badge AND a security key card before.
your computer acts as your timecard - it records when you turn it on and off, and (ahem) monitors your web tracking.
the employee handbook clearly states that internet use is specifically provided for employee research and program optimization, and that the parent company monitors web traffic and content, and employees will be notified promptly should their internet usage exceed 'normal' ranges of projected use.
i spent five and a half hours in a new employee orientation today, along with thirteen other very nice folks who probably work in other programs and departments with whom i'll never come into contact again.
there will be $1.36 deducted from each paycheck in agreement with the "Employee Beverage Fund Contribution Program" to ensure that I'll have semi-mediocre quality coffee available between the hours of 7:30 am and 6pm.
and all of this, i'm totally willing to put up with; i just think it's awesome that my hair looks really stupid in the i.d. card i'll probably have for the next hundred years.
your computer acts as your timecard - it records when you turn it on and off, and (ahem) monitors your web tracking.
the employee handbook clearly states that internet use is specifically provided for employee research and program optimization, and that the parent company monitors web traffic and content, and employees will be notified promptly should their internet usage exceed 'normal' ranges of projected use.
i spent five and a half hours in a new employee orientation today, along with thirteen other very nice folks who probably work in other programs and departments with whom i'll never come into contact again.
there will be $1.36 deducted from each paycheck in agreement with the "Employee Beverage Fund Contribution Program" to ensure that I'll have semi-mediocre quality coffee available between the hours of 7:30 am and 6pm.
and all of this, i'm totally willing to put up with; i just think it's awesome that my hair looks really stupid in the i.d. card i'll probably have for the next hundred years.
posted by gijyun |
7.11.2007
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4:29 PM
breaking: things cost money.
moving into my dad's house last summer was a decision of will, only after it was a decision made of necessity. say what you will about greenwood village, colorado...no. that's it. just say whatever you want.
i haven't paid rent in almost a year. one whole year of not barfing a third (or more) ((or less)) of my income into someone else's equity and spending at least four days thereafter self-demonizing for not barfing my income into a mortgage.
there's upsides, i suppose: i'm not barfing because i think i'm fat, and i'm not barfing because i'm spending a third of my income at a bar. it's probably closer to an eighth for the latter (budgeting, ya'll).
my income has gone up almost 20% with my new job (yay me), even for a nonprofit position. but i'll still be haunted with anxiety of getting approved for a crappy adjustable rate mortgage for a house i don't want, with a yard my dog REALLY doesn't want, and eventually settling for far less than everything.
i have dreams of a graduate degree that'll probably help to lock in my job security in a field that, you know, just doesn't pay that awesome. also, i dreamed that sharon stone was working at the grocery down my street and she looked really haggard and she was smoking behind the counter and offered me one and i said no thanks i quit and she threw her cigarettes at me, but what important here is goals (focusing, ya'll).
what's most surprising, though, is that i actually saved money and made the move and got the place and got the job - now all i have to do is find a scholarship and a bar with cheap domestics and i will officially rule the world, until i grow up a little bit more and actually buy a home.
but for now, let's just congratulate me for quitting smoking, kay? baby steps.
also, if you know of bars in philly with cheap domestics, get at me.
i haven't paid rent in almost a year. one whole year of not barfing a third (or more) ((or less)) of my income into someone else's equity and spending at least four days thereafter self-demonizing for not barfing my income into a mortgage.
there's upsides, i suppose: i'm not barfing because i think i'm fat, and i'm not barfing because i'm spending a third of my income at a bar. it's probably closer to an eighth for the latter (budgeting, ya'll).
my income has gone up almost 20% with my new job (yay me), even for a nonprofit position. but i'll still be haunted with anxiety of getting approved for a crappy adjustable rate mortgage for a house i don't want, with a yard my dog REALLY doesn't want, and eventually settling for far less than everything.
i have dreams of a graduate degree that'll probably help to lock in my job security in a field that, you know, just doesn't pay that awesome. also, i dreamed that sharon stone was working at the grocery down my street and she looked really haggard and she was smoking behind the counter and offered me one and i said no thanks i quit and she threw her cigarettes at me, but what important here is goals (focusing, ya'll).
what's most surprising, though, is that i actually saved money and made the move and got the place and got the job - now all i have to do is find a scholarship and a bar with cheap domestics and i will officially rule the world, until i grow up a little bit more and actually buy a home.
but for now, let's just congratulate me for quitting smoking, kay? baby steps.
also, if you know of bars in philly with cheap domestics, get at me.
posted by gijyun |
7.03.2007
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10:02 AM
