dear diary, i got this message today:
You stupid whore. I just played Oregon Trail twice (awesome Saturday night, huh?) and the first time you:
1) Got lost (for five days)
2) Got dysentary
3) Broke your arm
4) Suffered from "exhaustion" (what are you, Mariah Cary?)
5) Finally keeled over.
Seriously...not one other person had a problem (a couple died at the end, but they were fine for the rest of it) with the trip except for you, you fucking pussy. You just didn't want to go to Oregon, did you?
In the second one, you simply drowned. The only one to die. And we were glad to see you go.
I'm so not taking you next time.
write when i'm back.
heart,
anne
1) Got lost (for five days)
2) Got dysentary
3) Broke your arm
4) Suffered from "exhaustion" (what are you, Mariah Cary?)
5) Finally keeled over.
Seriously...not one other person had a problem (a couple died at the end, but they were fine for the rest of it) with the trip except for you, you fucking pussy. You just didn't want to go to Oregon, did you?
In the second one, you simply drowned. The only one to die. And we were glad to see you go.
I'm so not taking you next time.
write when i'm back.
heart,
anne
posted by gijyun |
5.22.2005
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4:42 AM
they shoot canadians, don't they?
i'm taking tomorrow off in preparation for what i'm referring to as CANADIAN HOOPLA BLOWOUT JOBFEST 2005.
i just called half of my friends and invited them to happy hour, without one accepted invitation.
jerks.
i'll show 'em. notta ONE o' ya are getting a keychain, postcard, airport tshirt, empty can of labatt's, hockey stick, maple syrup, or commemorative photo of me with a mountie.
(they still have mounties, right?)
i leave monday for the next two weeks. i invite you to relay your frustraions here, but we can still hang out til then.
...guys?
i just called half of my friends and invited them to happy hour, without one accepted invitation.
jerks.
i'll show 'em. notta ONE o' ya are getting a keychain, postcard, airport tshirt, empty can of labatt's, hockey stick, maple syrup, or commemorative photo of me with a mountie.
(they still have mounties, right?)
i leave monday for the next two weeks. i invite you to relay your frustraions here, but we can still hang out til then.
...guys?
posted by gijyun |
5.19.2005
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1:34 PM
through the funeral bell the lion's roar came...
and just fucked shit up, yo. go see kung fu hustle.
hey, i just found out kylie minogue has breast cancer. gay and straight men everwhere are devastated.
daily canadian affirmation: i hear the bacon is just to die for.
hey, i just found out kylie minogue has breast cancer. gay and straight men everwhere are devastated.
daily canadian affirmation: i hear the bacon is just to die for.
posted by gijyun |
5.18.2005
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1:16 PM
the old fashioned way
25% percent of you have, in recent months, decide that the bible isn't something you need or want to visit on a daily basis anymore.
really, i couldn't be happier.
this alone-time has give me the kind of freedom and flexibility to really strech my creative muscles, without the pressures of originality, insight, and spell-proofing.
time for important things. like:
ANGELINA JOLIE AND BRAD PITT AFFAIR
JESSICA ALBA NUDE
EVA LONGORIA DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND FAREWELL
JENNIFER GARNER PREGNANT
JESSICA SIMPSON AFFAIR WITH JOHNNY KNOXVILLE
KATIE HOLMES TOM CRUISE CHRISTIAN WEIRDOS
LINDSAY LOHAN ANOREXIC
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED BETWEEN NICOLE AND PARIS
RENEE AND KENNY WED
MARIAH CAREY CRAZY
that oughta do it.
really, i couldn't be happier.
this alone-time has give me the kind of freedom and flexibility to really strech my creative muscles, without the pressures of originality, insight, and spell-proofing.
time for important things. like:
ANGELINA JOLIE AND BRAD PITT AFFAIR
JESSICA ALBA NUDE
EVA LONGORIA DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND FAREWELL
JENNIFER GARNER PREGNANT
JESSICA SIMPSON AFFAIR WITH JOHNNY KNOXVILLE
KATIE HOLMES TOM CRUISE CHRISTIAN WEIRDOS
LINDSAY LOHAN ANOREXIC
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED BETWEEN NICOLE AND PARIS
RENEE AND KENNY WED
MARIAH CAREY CRAZY
that oughta do it.
posted by gijyun |
5.17.2005
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10:21 AM
note to self
honestly, when you're drunk you tell the DUMBEST FUCKING STORIES.
harassing people who aren't interested via instant message past 2 a.m. = not okay.
you need new pants. summer pants.
it's really good that you're not afraid of the spider who insists on watching you take showers anymore, but really, it might be time to say something to the landlord.
don't forget to wish molly happy birthday today.
and stop being such a fucking baby. canada won't be that bad.
harassing people who aren't interested via instant message past 2 a.m. = not okay.
you need new pants. summer pants.
it's really good that you're not afraid of the spider who insists on watching you take showers anymore, but really, it might be time to say something to the landlord.
don't forget to wish molly happy birthday today.
and stop being such a fucking baby. canada won't be that bad.
posted by gijyun |
5.16.2005
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11:08 AM
evolve or die
this morning while digesting coffee and a side of gawker, i saw a wall street journal article about the denver post that had an interview with my editor and their recent jump into the future with their new podcasting feature.
you can download denver post news to your iPod and listen to it on whatever mass transit option your city offers and wear your iPod wires hanging out so you can look cool AND be informed.
i asked my editor if i could have his autograph.
he responded, "LOL."
whatever that means.
you can download denver post news to your iPod and listen to it on whatever mass transit option your city offers and wear your iPod wires hanging out so you can look cool AND be informed.
i asked my editor if i could have his autograph.
he responded, "LOL."
whatever that means.
posted by gijyun |
5.13.2005
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1:46 PM
2 weeks
maybe three. maybe a month.
(remember the passport lady from total recall? yeah, you do. the hot one. two weeks! two weeks!)
...i'm going to canada to hang out with a bunch of old engineers at a job site for a while.
a little scared.
a little excited.
a little pissed about the tickets to the pixies at red rocks and bloc party in boulder that i just bought three days ago.
a little more pissed that i just found out ben folds is coming to denver and i'll miss him. again. third time in a row.
but i'm looking on the bright side. at least i have a job, which is more than i can say for some of you fucks.
posted by gijyun |
5.12.2005
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10:14 AM
guess what today is.
when i called her this morning, i told her i didn't recall her asking for rain for her birthday.
she said, "oh, yeah. i asked god."
i said, "wow, that was nice of god to come through like that. honestly, i would've probably asked for money."
she said, "...money can't buy rain."
so true. so true.
posted by gijyun |
5.11.2005
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10:12 AM
i'm trying hard not to give in.
the shins tonight!
after all these implements
and text designed by intellects
so vexed to find evidently
there's just so much that hides
and though the saints of us
divine in ancient feeding lines
their sentiment is just as hard
to pluck from the vine
i'm trying hard not to pretend
allow myself no mock defense
step into the night!
after all these implements
and text designed by intellects
so vexed to find evidently
there's just so much that hides
and though the saints of us
divine in ancient feeding lines
their sentiment is just as hard
to pluck from the vine
i'm trying hard not to pretend
allow myself no mock defense
step into the night!
posted by gijyun |
5.10.2005
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9:37 AM
yay monday (off)
my brother and his girlfriend are engaged.
finally.
i'm sick and i'm taking the day off of work.
latah.
posted by gijyun |
5.09.2005
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8:19 AM
the bible does literature
because oprah says reading is totally cool.
a heartbreaking work of staggering genius
totally uplifting, dave egger (he of mcsweeny's internet tendency) is the kind of non-fiction writer that makes you want to run through a field of sunshine and flowers and kiss puppies in a photobooth. totally fun and carefree!
not intended for: book groups consisting of social manic depressives.
ed. note: everyone will have already read this book.
still life with woodpecker
i have been reading this book for three months. i am on page 70. it's become more of a decorative conversation piece (which is okay, because it's an old copy so it looks cool) than what was described to me as a "quick read." i am slowly becoming unattached to the notion of finishing this book.
not intended for: book groups consisted of those diagnosed with AD/HD.
ed. note: someone once described this story as 'a love story that takes place inside a pack of cigarettes.' the next time i see that someone i'm calling him a goddamn liar to his face.
iPod instruction manual
in this epic tale of transferring mac-formatted ipod files to a pc, the antagonist jumps through a variety of hoops, involving downloading codecs or some shit, having to buy an external hard drive, and continually forgetting the charger at work so she can't use it at night anyway!
not intended for: retards.
ed. note: i didn't want to use the stupid thing anyway.
miranda rights
a non-fiction story in which the search engine strings "anne lynn whose real name is + denver" to this site by a denver.gov ip address, a us.gov ip address and a cia.gov ip address in the same day.
not intended for: wait, what?
ed note: wait, what?
a heartbreaking work of staggering genius
totally uplifting, dave egger (he of mcsweeny's internet tendency) is the kind of non-fiction writer that makes you want to run through a field of sunshine and flowers and kiss puppies in a photobooth. totally fun and carefree!not intended for: book groups consisting of social manic depressives.
ed. note: everyone will have already read this book.
still life with woodpecker
i have been reading this book for three months. i am on page 70. it's become more of a decorative conversation piece (which is okay, because it's an old copy so it looks cool) than what was described to me as a "quick read." i am slowly becoming unattached to the notion of finishing this book.not intended for: book groups consisted of those diagnosed with AD/HD.
ed. note: someone once described this story as 'a love story that takes place inside a pack of cigarettes.' the next time i see that someone i'm calling him a goddamn liar to his face.
iPod instruction manual
in this epic tale of transferring mac-formatted ipod files to a pc, the antagonist jumps through a variety of hoops, involving downloading codecs or some shit, having to buy an external hard drive, and continually forgetting the charger at work so she can't use it at night anyway!not intended for: retards.
ed. note: i didn't want to use the stupid thing anyway.
miranda rights
a non-fiction story in which the search engine strings "anne lynn whose real name is + denver" to this site by a denver.gov ip address, a us.gov ip address and a cia.gov ip address in the same day. not intended for: wait, what?
ed note: wait, what?
posted by gijyun |
5.04.2005
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12:02 PM
